You're Important – You're Not Special

We are all important. Every single one of us.

We are not special, at least not in the way the ego would like us to believe.

Judith Hanson Lasater writes in Living Your Yoga: “Everyone is important. No one is special.” Its a quote that has stayed with me for years and usually comes to mind when I'm being 'special'. At first, this may sound uncomfortable or even unfriendly. After a while it begins to feel like a kind of freedom.

Being important means your presence matters. You belong. You are valued. Being special in the way it often plays out in everyday life means being the exception. The one who doesn’t need to think of others. The one who avoids the rules, expects flexibility from everyone else, and rarely offers it in return.

Special people are not easy to be around.

I see it almost every day. When I drive off the island where I live, there’s a long stretch of road with a 50mph speed limit. The limit has been in place for months while roadworks are ongoing. I stick to it. It’s not difficult, and I see no reason why the limit wouldn’t apply to me. Yet I’m regularly overtaken by drivers speeding past, often frustrated, often aggressive, as if this rule was meant for someone else. As if their time matters more than safety.

In these moments, I can’t help but think that this is what being “special” looks like.

It shows up in other ways too. The guy at the gym who doesn’t wipe down the equipment after using it, or who sweats all over the benches without a towel. His body, his sweat, his space. It’s other people who need to be considerate, not him.

The other men who take up space with a kind of silent entitlement. They might move across multiple machines at once, hog equipment for extended periods, or throw weights down with theatrical force. As if size comes with superiority. As if strength means more importance.

It shows up in travel when someone skips the queue, takes up more than their seat, or speaks rudely to staff. Or when people stand at the luggage belt as if no one else needs to see or move. There’s a feeling of “I come first. The rest of you don’t matter quite as much.”

It even shows up in everyday appointments. The person who turns up late, leaves early, or cancels at the last minute again and again. Their time feels more valuable than yours. Their needs come first. Being on time is about respect for yourself and others.

We also see it among people in positions of authority - politicians, celebrities, business leaders. When responsibility is avoided and blame is shifted, when public trust is broken without apology, when decisions are made with no sense of consequence there’s often a belief that the normal rules don’t apply. That their power puts them above the rest of us. That leadership means exemption rather than example. And too often, we let them get away with it perhaps because somewhere, part of us still believes that being special is something to aspire to.

Maybe you’ve never seen yourself in any of these examples? Maybe your version of being special is quieter? You might believe your stress is more important than someone else’s. Or that the rules don’t apply to you because of your past, your pain, your experience.

These patterns are rarely intentional or malicious. They’re learned behaviours, absorbed from a culture that prizes competition and comparison and where being important often gets confused with being louder, better, or more deserving than others. It’s also why many of us mistake confidence for being boastful or dominant, rather than recognising the quieter strength of self-belief and quiet conviction.

Lasater’s insight offers a different way and is a powerful reminder. You are important and so is everyone else.

To live your life with importance is to show up with this understanding. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about choosing care for yourself and for others.

• I can drive safely, not to be a good person, but because the road is not mine alone.

• I can wipe down the gym equipment because I share the space with others.

• I can queue, show up on time, speak kindly, and listen fully because I’m part of something bigger than just me.

It’s easy to spot the special ones in the world. We may even joke about them if we aren't being annoyed by them. It’s more useful though to notice where the special one lives in you.

So here’s the practice:

Know that you matter.

Act like everyone else does too.

Till next time…

Enjoy the day you create.

Martin