Pain Isn’t the Problem - Ignoring It Is

Pain is something most of us try to avoid, hide from or push through. A recent injury reminded me that pain, whether physical or emotional, isn’t just something to “get rid of.” It’s a message, an invitation, and often the first step towards real rehabilitation. Here’s what my rib injury taught me about healing, awareness, and the small steps that genuinely move us forward.

Four weeks ago today, just as I was getting back into the gym after my bike accident, I had a mishap and managed to damage my ribs crashing against a coffee table. If you’ve ever injured your ribs, you’ll know how every breath, twist and movement can send a sharp, almost unbearable jolt of pain through your body. If you haven’t, believe me it’s an experience best avoided.

From the very first morning, getting in and out of bed felt like a challenge I hadn’t signed up for. The simplest movements became lessons in patience. Beneath the discomfort though a surprising thing began to happen. I started to learn how to work with the pain instead of fighting it. Pain stopped being the enemy and only a warning sign and started becoming a guide showing me exactly where I needed to slow down, breathe and pay attention. Resisting pain only made it worse both physically and mentally.

Restorative Pose by Jamie

Listening to the Body

Pain, it turns out, is actually a messenger! I’m not talking about the sayings “pain is weakness leaving the body” or “no pain, no gain” either. Pain signals our limits and demands attention. It’s a reminder that recovery is not about pushing harder. It’s about slowing down, tuning in and listening.

Every small task became a lesson. Each and every movement needed awareness and mindfulness. Getting into and out of bed was a carefully planned operation and was impossible for the first two nights. I was thankful to friends for their suggestions and each one felt like a lifeline. I know it sounds dramatic. Pain makes you focus and look for any relief possible. Coughing and sneezing was a definite no no!!! Pain made me focus on what mattered and to respect where my body was at.

Small Considered Steps

Recovery is a step by step process. There were moments of frustration and impatience and moments when I wondered if I’d ever move normally again. Yep dramatic again! Each day brought small victories - a deeper breath without pain, a stretch that felt just a little freer, the ability to get out of bed without wincing.

These small wins were powerful reminders that progress doesn’t need to be dramatic or fast. Paying attention, moving with intention and honouring what your body is telling you were the key to recovering.

Getting up from a chair without yelping in pain - armchairs were more of a challenge, walking downstairs without pausing on every step and not dreading moving a pillow in bed all felt like milestones.

I tried something I had read about. Instead of fearing the pain I approached the edge of a movement, accepted that it would hurt, and moved into it staying as relaxed as possible. The pain still came though the anxiety around the pain eased. I was working with pain rather than against it. I also learnt the power of rest and when not to push.

An injury isn’t only physical. It’s mental and emotional too. Accepting the need to slow down, to let go of plans and expectations, was surprisingly liberating. I had space to reflect and to refocus on what actually matters. Recovery included mental quiet and emotional care as much as gentle movement. By the way I’m not advocating you injure yourself so you can refocus!

Injuries of the Body and Beyond

Physical injuries are obvious, a broken rib, a sprained ankle, a pulled muscle, though life also brings other kinds of ‘invisible injuries’. The ones we can’t see which shape our sense of self and wellbeing and impact our lives:

• The quiet ache of feeling not good enough.

• Heartbreak and grief.

• Mental health struggles.

  
  

These are injuries too. Their pain may appear differently to physical injuries, but they can limit movement, confidence, and our ability to live fully, just as my rib injury restricted me.

Like physical pain, these emotional and mental injuries are signals. They’re our body, heart or mind telling us that something needs attention. Ignoring them, pushing through or pretending they don’t exist changes nothing. Acknowledging them, listening carefully and taking small, deliberate steps is how recovery begins.

For physical injuries, healing might mean gentle movement, rest, or physiotherapy. For emotional or mental injuries, it could be journalling, therapy, honest conversations, self-compassion, or simply being kind to yourself. I love the saying “We would not allow others to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves”.

Every small victory matters. A day when the pain is less sharp, a moment of self-kindness, a new perspective gained. These are signs of progress and reminders that growth isn’t always dramatic or fast. It’s often subtle, gradual and cumulative. Suddenly we feel better though its been a journey getting there.

The Injury as the First Step

I’ve come to realise that an injury, whether physical, mental, or emotional, isn’t the start of a journey at all. It is actually about awareness and the first stage of rehabilitation. It’s the moment your system says:“Hold on a minute. Pause. Check in. Something needs attention.”

It’s an invitation to look back and reflect and ask:

• What was happening in your life before the injury?

• Where were you pushing?

• What were you avoiding?

• Which familiar patterns were running on autopilot?

Without that moment of awareness, we tend to keep living in ways that might actually be doing more harm than good.

When we treat ‘injuries’ as the starting point rather than a setback, whether its a pulled muscle, a heartbreak or the ache of shame, something changes. Recovery becomes less about rushing back to ‘normal’ and more about cultivating awareness. We begin to notice patterns, acknowledge pain honestly, and celebrate small (even tiny) wins. Those small wins are the building blocks of healing.

Using Pain as a Guide

This has been the most powerful realisation from my own experience, and it’s something I see often in my work. In daily life, most of us only pause when something forces us to. An injury, illness, redundancy, or the end of a relationship interrupts the habitual flow of life and creates space to choose differently. That interruption is a quiet gift. It gives permission to pay attention, become aware, and make changes.

Pain is often seen as something to beat, ignore, or push through and that if we endure it we are strong and weak if we don’t. Pain grabs our attention, sometimes sharply if my own experience is anything to go by, and points us toward what’s missing or out of balance. It becomes our teacher.

From a scientific perspective, resisting pain is counterproductive. The fear-avoidance model shows that avoiding pain entirely can create cycles of fear and restriction, while approaching pain mindfully reduces anxiety and supports adaptive recovery.

Neuroscience also backs this up. Pain changes how the brain and nervous system respond. This is neuroplasticity in action. When we listen to pain rather than fight it, the nervous system can learn safer movement patterns and reduce threat responses.

Research also shows that pain itself is a learning process. Chronic pain often becomes a learned pattern in the brain. Treating pain as a guide helps us interrupt those patterns rather than reinforcing them through fear or avoidance.

Even gentle movement or mindful touch has been shown that it can help reduce pain and support the body in finding new, less reactive pathway. Maybe the saying ought to be 'Pain is no gain!'

When we pay attention to pain, we can begin to see where we’ve ignored our needs, where energy has been leaking away or where old habits have been running the show without us noticing.

Pain points us toward what’s missing - rest, focus, patience, or support. It forces a slowing down that lets us notice the small things we normally miss in the rush of life: a breath that’s too shallow, a posture that’s braced and defensive or the tight voice of worry and stress.

This rib injury reminded me to be gentle with myself, to be patient with a body that’s doing its job of healing and to celebrate the tiny shifts. Healing, like awareness, doesn’t obey deadlines. It unfolds in its own time. That was a hard lesson!!!

Emotional ‘injuries’ ask the same of us. They invite us to notice triggers, to soften our critical self talk and to begin rebuilding with care. Recovery from any type of injury is a process of small, deliberate steps that add up over time.

If you’re facing physical pain, emotional hurt or deep shame, frame it to see the injury as an invitation, not a stop sign, to check in, rebalance and begin real rehabilitation. With attention, patience and kindness towards yourself, there is a way forward one careful step at a time.

What I’ve Learnt from Pain Being My Guide

You have a role to play in your own recovery. Healing is not something that just “happens”. It’s something you participate in actively. Your mindset, your breath, your movement, your rest and your awareness all shape how you heal. Even the small, deliberate actions make a real difference.

These are my own recommendations and based on personal experience. They’re simple and made a differnce to how I felt as I set about recovering.

How to support the recovery process:

1. Be as fit as you reasonably can before an injury happens. A stronger, more conditioned body gives you more resources when you need them - for physical repair, emotional resilience, and mental stamina.

2. Accept the injury has happened. There’s a difference between surrender and acceptance. Acceptance creates clarity, reduces resistance and lets you focus your energy on recovery. I’ve written about this in more detail in my blog on Acceptance and Surrender at www.benkdcoaching.com.

3.Reframe pain and use it as a guide, not an enemy. Pain can be informative. It shows where to slow down, how to adjust and where support is needed. Treating pain as a companion rather than a threat removes a huge amount of fear and tension around movement.

4. Pause, breathe and stay connected to your body. When pain arises: soften, take a few slow breaths, notice where you feel tightness or space. I found that simple act can reduce tension and reset nervous‑system patterns.

5. Move - movement really does help. Movement doesn’t have to be dramatic. Getting out of bed, standing up from a chair, walking a few steps - these all count. These small movements build confidence, circulation and momentum. Rest is important too, mentally and physically, and you’ll know the difference between kindness and indulgence.

6. Have support. Recovery is always easier with people around you. A bit of reassurance or practical help takes pressure off your system and lets you focus on healing rather than coping alone. Share how you are feeling. Speaking about the pain makes it less isolating.

7. Prioritise sleep. Sleep is one of the most powerful healing tools we have. In the early days, rest might come in chunks, daytime naps, broken nights - and that’s completely normal. Let your body take what it needs.

8. Remember that recovery is not linear. Healing doesn’t unfold in straight lines. I had days when everything felt easier, followed by days when my body felt as if it has slipped backwards. This isn’t failure, it’s biology. Progress often happens in waves, not steps. Trust the direction, not the day-to-day fluctuations.

9. Feed your body well. Nutrition matters more than most of us realise when we’re healing. High-quality food supports tissue repair, regulates inflammation, and stabilises energy and mood. Eating well isn’t about perfection - it’s about giving your body the raw materials it needs to rebuild.

10. Keep a simple record of progress. Jot down small wins, setbacks, observations. Watching evolution over time helps you stay grounded and gives perspective when impatience creeps in

11. Avoid comparing yourself to the “old you.” Comparison slows recovery. Awareness speeds it up. Recognise the tiny wins - even the ridiculous ones. The day I stood up from a chair without my ribs taking my breath away was pure joy. These 'micro-victories' matter more than we realise.

A common trap after injury is comparing what you used to do with what you can do now. That time will return. Early on, comparison just creates frustration and pressure.

This also applies to exercise. When running jarred my ribs, I switched to the cross trainer. They’re completely different movements with different demands so I couldn't compare them. What mattered was I was moving, gently and with awareness.

Allow the phase you’re in to be enough. Celebrate what you can do rather than mourn what you temporarily can’t. Progress builds from there.

My ribs are healing and I’m noticing and appreciating the little things I’d been taking for granted such as moving without pain, being back at work, getting back to the gym and simply feeling more relaxed in body and mind. There’s definitely been a shift in my priorities too.

Next time you hear someone saying "pain is weakness leaving the body" maybe smile and mention that pain is far too valuble to live without!

I think that’s enough injuries for 2025!

Until the next time.

Enjoy the day you create.

Martin